Kids are Gross

Kids are the funniest.  You can't make this stuff up.  Almost every day of my life, I think "Is this really happening?" Friday, we had to go to the doctor's office for Sophia.  She's had a cough and woke up with a fever.  We were sitting in the waiting room and Stella and Sophia were taking turns pushing(no,hitting) the button that activates the train that goes around a track overhead.  Then, at every passing, they shriek and squeal with laughter at the "surprise" that there is actually a train coming by.  (We have been going to this doctor for three years)
Stella-"Mom? I need to go to the bathroom."
Me-"Really?  We just went before we left."  (knowing that a) as soon as I take her, they will call our name b)she probably doesn't really need to go, but has an obsession with public restrooms, and c)Sophia will touch everything in the public restroom and I will have to wrestle her away from everything and fight with her to wash her hands)
Me-"OK, let's go."  I sigh.
We go and everything I knew would happen, did.  They called our name, she didn't really have to go but Sophia decided she wanted to sit on the potty, too (didn't need to) and thought it would be nice to pick up someone else's used t.p. off of the floor and hand it to me to throw it away.  Hands washed, germophobic mother thoroughly disgusted, and back out to the waiting room.
Nurse-"Sophia?  Sophia?"
Back to the doctor's office we go, and as the nurse is trying to ask questions about Sophia's health, Stella is tugging at my shirt saying she has to go to the bathroom again.  REALLY?!?!?  The nurse says we can go while she weighs Sophia and gets her temp.  I take Stella and she actually uses it this time.  Wash hands and back to doctor's office.  Dr. finally comes in and Stella says (holding her hand with something earth toned on it up to my face) "I just poopoo'd in my pants."  Dr. says "I'll let you take care of that." And we go back to the bathroom.  (this is the third time in an hour if you are counting)  I deposit her underwear into the garbage can and use thirty paper towels to clean her up (no wipes because Sophia is potty trained and we don't need a diaper bag anymore, right?  RIGHT?!?!?)  Poor Stella has diarrhea, no underwear on, and blue jeans.  Ouch.  We wash hands and I try to get the poo off of my jeans that she wiped on me I tried to help her onto the adult sized toilet seat.  We go back to the doctor's office and wait for 20 more minutes because now we have lost our place in the rotation.  He returns and Sophia is swabbed for strep.  "I'll be back from the lab in 5 minutes with your test results," says Dr.
Stella- "I have to go to the bathroom again."
Me-"Stella.  Please try to hold it.  As soon as we leave, the doctor will come back.  Just wait a little bit, pleeeeeassse."
Five minutes pass and he steps back into the room to say "Sophia has strep. Here is her prescription."  "Great, thanks," I say.
"MOM! I just pooped in my pants again," says Stella, spreading her legs apart in a semi-split.  Dr. says "Alright-I will leave your prescription and file at the front desk.  Hope you all have a great weekend!"  So, here we are again in the bathroom cleaning poo off of Stella's jeans, stuffing them with paper towels, and cleaning poo off of toilet, sink, floor, hands, arms....did I leave anything out? I apologize to the giggling nurses in the hall that I am sure heard me saying "Oh my gosh.  Oh...my...gosh....oh good Lord, help me....Sophia, get out of the trash.....Stella, stop touching that....ohhhhh.....good grief.....wash your hands....make bubbles....."  Then, to the line to pay.  Of course there were 185 people waiting to pay on a Friday afternoon.  By this point, we had been there for 2 hours.  So, as we stand in line, Stella and Sophia were ooh-ing and aah-ing over the babies and Stella decided to share with everyone how she had pooped in her pants.  Lovely.  Now, I have parents clutching their newborns to their bosoms and trying to get as far away from me and my diseased children.  That was my Friday.  Like I said, you cannot make this stuff up.  Why would you want to?  Kids are disgusting.  It's a good thing they have wonderful personalities 85% of the time.

B.J. Reece's Apple Orchard

Apple pickin' smile

This goat looks thrilled to be here.  

About 2 seconds later, she was running to me screaming bloody murder because the turkey pecked her.  He's gonna make a nice Thanksgiving meal.

Short-lived slumber party in Sophia's new bed

After 5 years, we finally said goodbye to the crib.  It was bittersweet, but Sophia was soooo excited about her new bed!  Stella thought it was her bed, too.  She wanted to have a sleep in "her" new bed next to Sophia, so we said o.k. since it was a Saturday night.  We read stories, tucked them in, gave goodnight kisses and ventured downstairs.  We sat on the couch and smiled at each other, so proud of our precious, little girls. About 20 minutes later, there were wails and tears and names being yelled at one another. "What is going on?"  I said, flinging the door open.  "Sophia hit me in the head with a BOOK!"  "Sophia?  Is this true?"  "YES! Sissy is a POOPOO PANTS!"  Alright.  Slumber party over.  

Disney Princesses on Ice at Phillips Arena

Brooke, Moody Stella, and Harper

Bert's Pumpkin Patch

Pumpkin Painting

We got "Boo"d!" If you don't know what this means, it happens when someone knocks on your door and leaves a treat and you are supposed to "pay it forward" and leave treats on another doorstep.  It is really exciting for kids, so we decided to choose two friends to "Boo" after we received our surprise.  I made up little treat bags and loaded the girls in the car.  When we arrived at the first house, I told Stella to hop out of the car and leave it on the doorstep of some friends of ours.  These friends have a gorgeous golden retriever that hangs out in the front yard at times and this was one of those days.  After Stella struggled to try to open the door (child lock), I had to get out and open the door for her.  As I am getting back in, there is a lady in a car waiting to get into the driveway of the house we were about to "Boo."  Lady in Car-"Are you trying to get into their driveway?"

Me-"No-we are trying to 'Boo' them."(assuming everyone knows what that means-I was wrong)

Lady in Car-"Pardon me?"

Me-"We are leaving candy on their doorstep"

Lady in Car-"Oh...o.k." (looking a little unimpressed)

Back to Stella-by this time, she had made it halfway across their football field front yard and was racing back to the car, screaming and crying, with the Golden Retriever on her heels trying to lick her to death.  By this time, the person we are trying to "Boo" (this is all supposed to be anonymous) has come out onto the driveway and is yelling at the dog.  I am grabbing the bag from Stella and running it to the front doorstep and running back across Central Park yard back to my now locked car.  Luckily, I have a code and type it in, jump into the car and speed away.  First Boo-ing=Success....well, maybe not.

Sophia kept telling everyone she was a kangaroo and requested lion makeup to go with her costume

Stella and Caroline at Trunk or Treat at our church

Snow White for school

Sophia's class was outside playing during Stella's class party and she could smell candy-this is her trying to party crash